Thursday, July 8, 2010

Do you Trust Yourself?

Dear Royal Subjects -

I recently finished the book The Speed of Trust by Stephen M R Covey.  He talks about 4 core values and 13 behaviors that inspire trust.  The core values are integrity, intent, capabilities, and results.  Beyond thous core values are 13 behaviors:  talk straight, demonstrate respect, create transparency, right wrongs, show loyalty, deliver results, get better, confront reality, clarify expectations, practice accountability, listen first, keep commitments, and extend trust.  The author talked about how the first and most important person to trust was yourself. 

I read the book with an internal focus and I think I have found that perhaps the person that I let down the most is myself.  I make sure that I meet and exceed work expectations, then I try to ensure that my family needs are met, then my business relationships, then friends, etc.  That does not leave much room for me.  This is not one of those selfish how do I get more time for myself type of things.  It is more, how do I improve myself so that I can do better within all of my relationships.  With my challenge to myself yesterday I have started on my quest to regain trust in myself.  You see, I often make commitments to myself, like I will get up at 5am today and work out in the morning, and then 7 or 8am rolls around and I am still in bed beating myself up because I didn't keep yet another personal commitment to myself.  Part of the issue is that I do not take personal commitments as seriously as I take external commitments. 

Think about it.  If I took personal commitments as serious as external commitments, would I be overweight?  Would I question my competence in my area of expertise?  Would I spend more money gambling then I planned every time?  Would I invest in multi-level marketing plans that I then don't put the time and energy into?  Would I already be a painter?  Would I draw more?  The answers to some of these questions might be yes.  However, I will never know the answer.  I can only start from where I am today.  I can start first with increasing my integrity with myself.  I can start today with the intent to do better.  I can start today with the skills I learned in this book to have better results.  I can start today.  Maybe that is the key too, starting today?  I am not starting next week when it is a good time, or when I have time, or when ... Starting today I will read again 30 minutes a day at least 5 days a week to improve my skills sets within my chosen career path or within my family.  Actually, starting yesterday!  Hah - I am already ahead of the game.

Well Royal Subjects, I encourage you to read the book too.  I really enjoyed it and I learned a lot.  I already started my next book - "Software & System Requirements Engineering In Practice" and I have already got a few good ideas out of the book.

Here's to Learning How to Trust Yourself,
Queen Jackie


  1. Ugh, you've really hit home with this! If I kept HALF the promises I make to myself as fervently and deliberately as I do the promises made to others, I would be thin and rich. Ok, thinner and richer, but you get the point.

    I like the idea of 'increasing my integrity to myself'.
    Once again, I'm following your lead, ma'am.

  2. Dear Goddess, I am glad that we are able to learn from one another. It is wonderful to find that you are in a relationship with a friend that is both as a student and as a teacher. We all find one another because there is a need for us to find one another. I think I dreamed you up in my mind and then you became real. :)